dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
