well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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