Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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