wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
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He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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