Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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