Don't make out with my wife yet
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
