That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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