You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
