Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
