all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
