The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
id be glad to
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
