Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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