Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
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