No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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