apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
there is puke in my bra ... again
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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