I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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