Yo dont text me then not text me
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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