Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I would fuck him just for his dog
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize