Can Purell be used as lube?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
