things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
