Hey man sorry I got all grabby
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
