I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize