Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
