And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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