fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize