so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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