Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
