She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
