I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
