VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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