her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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