Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
