in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
