happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
