okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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