Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i was born a porn star she said
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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