So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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