I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Say something about gay babies.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
