Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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