She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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