He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
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He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
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I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
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