Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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