But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
