So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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