is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize