i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
