I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
