you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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