you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
