I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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