I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
