i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
