I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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