Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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