like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize