If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
we're chasing vodka with high fives
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
