tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
