we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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