My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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